Eco friendly lighting

Hubby and I are on our path to being Earth responsible people. We started a good decade ago. I remember being a teenager and helping my parents to recycle, separate the vegetable remains to compost, turning off the lights when leaving a room, turning off the water while soaping in the shower, etc. In the past years we've also worked on replacing the lights we could with eco-friendly lights.
There are three basic steps to being green: Recycle, Reduce, Reuse. It is definitely important for us to include this in our wedding as much as possible. Lighting is one section where we can easily apply those steps.

1)Reuse.
We want to decorate our reception room with the LED christmas lights. At first I thought about buying some lights on E-bay, preferably LED so they use less energy (reduce). But then I realized I was beeing silly not to use our ressources.
We're in the United States after all. Everyone here seems to decorate their home to something extraordinary extents when comes Christmas. Meaning that most of the people we know own Christmas lights.
So we are going to reuse by borrowing lights from our family and friends. We will label each lights with the name of the person it belongs too, install them in the room a few days before the wedding, remove them a day after and give them back to their owner. Our wedding is weeks before Thanksgiving, when the official Christmas season and house decoration starts, and therefore no one will actually miss those lights.
We save money by not having to buy any and we protect the planet a little bit by reusing what's already there.

2)reduce
I love candles. And let's be honest; what's a wedding without candles? Candles scream romance, soft light and magic to me.
But there is one tiny problem. Those cheap tea light candles you buy in the stores are made of parrafin. Paraffin is a petroleum product, which is not a renewable resource and causes pollution in its production. They release soot when they burn (unhealthy) and carbon as well, contributing to a big issue I don't even need to mention. Not very eco-friendly is it?

Well there are alternatives: beewax, soy and palm oil.

Bee wax candles.
Who doesn't know bee wax? It's probably the oldest type of wax known to men. It's a renewable ressource because bees keep on creating it. As long as the beekeepers are careful in the way they harvest it, there is no damage to the bee population.
Pros: It's smokeless and smells good as it burns. It's a renewable ressource with a low impact on the environment. Last three times longer than paraffin and two times longer than soy candles.
Cons: they pretty much only come in their natural yellow, they are expensive
(image source)

Soy Candles
Those candles are definitely growing. It's a more recent product made from soy. You can find them in many colors and sented or unscented.
Pro:biodegreadable, clean burning, renewable, lasts up to 50% longer than parrafin when burning because it burns cooler. Hard enough to make in any shape.
Cons: still more expensive than regular candles (but less than bee wax), soy is a food therefore I wonder the impact on soy production and food access... The flame is not considered a "warm flame". And how we we know it's GMO free soy? Soy is soft and has to be kept in a jar.
(image source)

Vegetable-oil based candles (palm and more)
Again, a renewable ressource since it comes from the fruit of the tree. Again clean burning.
Look for GMO free.
Information on those candles seems a little bit harder to come by.

Make sure you check the labels and that it's 100% what you are looking for.

Personally I'm thinking of getting beewax candles, not only because of their great smell but also because my mom is a beekeeper at times and although she doesn't make beewax candles, I feel like it would be an extra touch to honor my parents.

Sources: www.epicureantable.com
www.greenyour.com/

A rush of sugar to the head

As I mentionned before, I have a sweet tooth. The cake can look any way the baker wants, it doesn't really matters to me. No what matters is the taste. I want flavor. I don't need tones of tasteless icing.

In France the traditionnal wedding cake are little puff pastries filled with pastry cream. Martha Stewart has it on her site as Croquembouche, and it's my grandmother's absolute favorite. She could eat the whole cake on her own, scary.

We didn't plan to have anything traditionnal (French or American). To be honest the wedding cake did not really matter in the sense of what it represents. We just wanted some good desserts.
At first I was ready to have family pinch in and bake some cakes: pumpkin cheesecakes and other recipes with a seasonal touch.
But it so happens that his mom offered to pay for our cake. So it's a baker who will take care of it, well of our cakes.

As I mentionned before, I really want one of the cakes to be a pumpkin cheesecake. And afte tasting Filo Pastries Dulce de Leche cheesecake, I knew I wanted them to do it, and then do the other cakes too. I talked to the owner Maria and she was open for a cake tasting, we discussed ahead of time what we were looking for: seasonal cakes. One of the main reason for that is that we want to use ingredients that are in season and don't have to be exported from far far away.
So on top of the pumpkin cheesecake she suggested: a hummingbird cake, a spice cake, an apple cake and then Hubby wanted a red velvet cake.

We decided not to try the spice cake because the other options just seemed more unique. So one evening after work, we went to meet Maria at Filo Pastrie.
A table was waiting for us with 4 plates, two glasses of water, forks and 4 giant slices of cake.

From left to right and top to bottom, I present you:
Pumpkin Cheesecake
Red Velvet Cake
Hummingbird Cake
Apple Cake.

I was salivating at the view. Maria sat down with us to listen to what we though.
I started with the Pumpkin Cheescake, I think that no matter what it was going to taste I already knew it was in. It was as light as a cloud, just like whipped cream (I don't mean calorie light). Pumpkins are not quite in season yet when we tried it and while the taste was good, I think it will be even better comes november.

The second cake was the hummingbird cake made with pinapple, pecans, banana and a cream cheese icing. Excellent, great texture and with a hint of cinnamon in it; it had my vote. Pineapple and banana are not exactly local products, but I think we'll make an exception on that one.

The third cake was the Apple Cake, also with pecans in it, and with plenty of spices. Cloves were very obvious and I just loved it. A perfect fall cake. The icing was also covered with crushed pecans making the outside of the cake as beautiful as tasty.

The last cake was the Red Velvet Cake that Hubby suggested. While it was good, it tasted a bit bland after the three others. I guess I was expecting something else, I was told it had chocolate and I really couldn't taste it.

So in the end we eliminate the Red Velvet Cake from our list and decided instead to have a Mochat Chocolate Torte. Thicker (a nice change to the other cake's textures) and definitely more chocolaty. I like chocolate and when it comes to it I don't do it halfway. We did not taste it, but given the other cakes, I have no worries that it will be fabulous.
We will also have a least one Pumpkin Cheescake, a Hummingbird Cake and a two tiers Apple Cake. Yes, we will after all have a "ceremony cake" for us to cut. The decoration wil be the crushed pecans all over, and I'm consiedering finding a few really pretty fall leaves, washing them well and placing them around the cake at the last minute.

No need to tell you that I was not very hungry for dinner after that. I did very much enjoyed the cake left overs in the day after and I really look forward to have our guests try those great cakes. Our baker will also be bringing the cakes on site.

What's your favorite cake? Did you pick that one for your wedding or did you go for something more traditionnal?

A deal on a ring

Deciding what ring we wanted for me motivated us to find his.
We had already looked at rings before to get a general idea of what he was looking for. Back then I had ahd to drag him in the store for him to look at someting.
From the star he had be adamant about no gold. He definitely did not want yellow gold, but even white gold was out of the question. The metal is too soft for him, especially being outdoors all the time and climbing at times (although he would remove the ring in such a case).

So we looked at alternative metals: tungsten and titanium were the main ones, we also considered stainless steel. At first he mentionned silver, but I was against that one. Sure silver is a precious metal, but it's just as fragile as gold and it darkens a lot as it ages and I didn't see that as a good symbol of our marriage. We had in mind the qualities and flaws of each metals.

That day I had a special incentive for him, especially after going over budget for my ring: two jewlery stores at the mall were going out of business and had clearance prices on most of their stock.
Neither jewleries had stainless steel ring; but they had tungsten and titanium. I think it's again the practical part that helped Hubby decide. Tungsten is much heavier than gold and you do really feel it on your finger, while titanium on the other side is a lot lighter, and for him easier to wear because of that.
Hubby tried several rings, he didn't want something too wide and something flat.
The first store had a potential winner, 5-6mm wide and the price was great.

But it was in the second store that we find the right one. By then he had decided that titanium was what he wanted for its lightness and practicality. They only had one ring left in titanium, 7mm wide, 2 different polish and Hubby loved it. It was just a little bit more expensive than the previous ring, but still under $100. So even if he looses it, we can always get a replacement. The size was right so we left with it and I went to play in the garden with my camera and the rings.


What metal did your husband/future husband picked for his ring? Any reasons?

Too busy

I'm congested and not feeling my best, a lot or work to do at work and way too little time with my husband have made me stay away from blogging a lot more than usual. Not to mention that, well, we're less than a month away from the big ceremony. I am so excited about it. I really cannot wait.
I'm on my own this week-end, so I'm going to try to write a few posts and schedule them for the coming weeks.

Several things have happened since my last post:
We picked Hubby's ring.
My dress's alterations are on their way
What to wear under the dress
The climber's garter project
Getting ready for the guests
Working on the food.
Hubby's outfit options.
The right shoes for me
The cake tasting

How to wear it?

When we got married at the courthouse I had my godsister do my hair. She created many loose curls in it and I just clipped my Hawaiian Plumeria flower on the left side as it means you are taken. It was a way for me to honor his mom.

I like it, it was simple and worked great with our civil, unplanned wedding and having no veil.
So that made me think, why not work it out the same way for the wedding and have the girls do my hair? It seems like a good idea and helps to stay within budget.

I still can't decide what hairstyle I want for our family wedding. The strapless gown calls for an updo that would beautify the cut.
The season calls for something that covers the shoulders a bit.
My personal taste tells me I don't want my hair in my face.

If the loose curls worked well for our wedding I did have some issues with it though. The first being that my hair is so thin and straight that it does not hold any haircut unless you put a gazzillion pins in it, by the evening most of the curls were gone. The second part was that I had hair in my face.

Now I've veen looking around at possible options. I do not want something too formal. Some loose hair here and there would have my preference, and because of the veil and the "no hair in the face" I need it attached somewhere.
So here are some of the styles I liked on theknot.com, the only part is: if I go for any of those styles: I'll need a hairdresser.
My hair is now below my shoulders, almost at armpit level.

The half up-do:
The few curls make it romantic, it's loose enough not to look strict. We could probably pull off this one on our own.

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=24420

An other half up-do
Again very loose so that it doesn't look too formal.

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=13626

Curlz
This is the one I probably dreamed about as soon as I started thinking of weddings. Those curls are just gorgeous, feminine, defined and yet a bit loose. I love the few strands of hair going down too.
But how long would it take to do this? And would it hold?

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=14038

The informal updo
It has a touch of simplicity to it, and yet it's sophisticated and beautiful. I do not have a brooch to put in my hair though. The bride described her hair to be just like mine so it's duable.

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=20023

Original bun:
I love the way the hair is attached in the back. It's very unique and can probably handle not to have flowers at all. I would definitely need a hairdresser to make sure it holds throughout the day. It fits our outdoor wedding too.

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=20805


How are you going to wear your hair. Did you choose the style for it's look or for the practicality?

I'll have it cutstom, please (part 2)

I left you at the moment when I opened the door of Blue. It was a Saturday morning and the store was calm. I could here some sounds upstairs but no one came to greet me, so I silently moved aroudn and used the opportunity to look around without being questioned by the sales assistant.
After a few minutes, someone came down. He presented himself as the assistant of the jewlers and took time to show me what they had and answered most of my questions.
I tried a few beautiful rings, some thin, some larger.

Here is a sample of their work, all copyright to Blue.

As you can see there is definitely creativity involved.

At that point I knew I wanted texture, so I was attracted by the brushed rings, the hammered silver bands and the engraved ones. The assistant told me that it could be difficult to do a thin hammered ring, so I took that option out of my mind. It didn't matter because my eyes go caught on this:
A diamond engraved band. I didn't want a diamond though, but thankfully the assistant had a few simple band with the hand engraving to show me. I tried it and well loved it. I liked the yellow tones of gold and the contrast it made with my ring. However my husband's opinion was also important, and this ring was twice what I was thinking to put in my wedding band given our budget so I decided to come back with him.

The second visit was a fiasco. We were on our way out of town, I was expecting a wedding shoes delivery from UPS and stalking my phone to hear from them and knowing I was stressed, my husband didn't say a word when all I wanted was to hear his opinion. All he said was that white gold matched my engagement ring better.
But after I calmed down we talked in the car and though more about our options. I did still want a mix of golds so when he came up with the idea on his own I couldn't help myself from dreaming about a 3 level ring, with an engraved center.
We came back the next week and takled with the actual jewler.
It was quickly obvious that my idea was not feasable for them.
The engraving would dissapear when they would "melt/attach" the 3 sections together, not to mention that that technique is super expensive.

I was ready to just settle for my pretty engraved ring in white gold, but I played with the rings on my fingers a little more and we decided that a white gold and an engraved yellow gold ring looked pretty together as the yellow gold was framed between the e-ring and the other one. I loved it. There was the option to get the middle one engraved and instead of getting them together like one ring, the jewler could do a two point attach in the back. There would still be a little space in between but they wouldn't move. Since the e-ring would be separated from the rest anyway I wasn't bothered.

However, again the budget price put a halt on things: it would be a thousand dollar. Ouch! But I loved that idea so much.
So what we decided was to get the engraved ring now as a wedding band and that later on we would add a white gold band and attach it. That girl loves the idea. The hubby said "Thanks!" pretending to be trapped in a "buy me later gift".

I decided on the green gold verstion (it has more silver and zinc than copper added to the gold), it looks more like the medieval gold and I love it. What I love too is that this is all recycled gold and my little eco-friendly mind sure is happy with it.

Here is what it looked like with a way too big for my hands ring:

On the way to the car I told Hubby: "We could have this second ring for a special occasion, like having kids.." I paused and then said "Do you want to have kids now?" Yeah, I'm a girl and I can't wait to have my rign.

How was your wedding ring shopping process? Did you already plan to have an anniversary ring?

I'll have it custom, please (Part 1)

I didn't have much of a saying in the choice of the engagement ring. I remember once talking with him about it, way before we seriously thought about getting married. At the time it was my opinion that it should be a diamond ring. Time went by and I became more open to other options, I think I would have loved a ruby or a sapphire ring. Ruby is my birthstone and I just love sapphires.
But when he went down on one knee, it was with a white gold, princess cut diamond ring and I couldn't have cared less what it was made of, I loved it for what it meant.

We decided not to exchange rings for our civil ceremony. We wanted to keep some of the meaningful moments of a wedding to share with our families on our big family wedding day. So I didn't even bother thinking about what I wanted until a few months ago.

At first I though about a simple gold band just like my parents and my grandparents had (source):

And yes I wanted yellow gold because I like the contrast between white and yellow, also to me it represents two different people uniting their lives to each other.
The simple gold band was also great for our small budget wedding. But of course I couldn't settle on it.

The more I thought about it, the less I felt satisfied with the plain band. Yes I could not find something else. Most chain jewelery only have either plain bands or diamond bands, nothing in between.
I knew I wanted gold, but I also realized that I wanted texture like a mix of brushed and shiny gold. They did not have that.
So I went and searched online.
There was one ring I kind of liked: a 14k Two tones ring, 3.5mm wide. It was a little bit over $200 and came from www.weddingbands.com Link.

But I still was not entirely satisfied. So I went around town to check out jewlers who make their own rings.
First I went to Jewels That Dance, it looked quite posh. The sales person even asked me if I was here on vacation and I was like "No, I'm local". It made me feel like it was there only for tourists and that they didn't feel like the local people could afford their work. Indeed I could not. But the attitude really threw me off. And while there were a few pretty rings, there wasn't anything I really wanted to try either.

The only other place in Asheville that I knew to make custom jewelry was Blue, in Biltmore village. Many times I came by their door but was too late to get a sneak pick of their work. Finally, one saturday while my hubby was at work, I pushed the door open.

...to be continued

Have fun with the Rules at Kelly's Closet

Hubby, no peaking! If you're smart you won't look down and spoil the surprise!

Moving in to the US to be with my husband has motivated me to blog, at first to keep my family in the loop and then just to share my experience as an expat with others. Therefore I started searching other French expat's blog in the US. It's thanks to that, that I found out about Kelly's closet. A fellow expat (Froggie) found her dress there and recommended the store.
So I went online and looked it up.
I fell in love with their way of thinking. Want to know why? Well read the rules posted on the website:

Source

Play dress up? That's exactly what I've been wanting to do. Be positive about yourself, don't say you're fat? How come those rules are not posted in every woman store already? It's just a dress and the partner is more important? Agreed.
This all philosophy that is advertised for from the start made me smile and feel so excited about going to the store. I didn't know if I would find my dress there but I knew that I wanted to.
My fellow expat had found a dress for $500 and told me that while they do have expensive things they also have options for smaller budget and that you are not looked upon for not buying the pricey items.

Just in case though, when I called to make the appointment, I mentionned the price range I was looking for. The woman on the phone told me it would not be a problem that they had items in that price range.
Already in good spirits from a better shopping experience at David's Bridal I was so excited to go to Kelly's Closet. It's located in Little Five Points in Atlanta and the area could not be cuter and more fitted to the store.
The windows and doors are painted a light yellow, the store is bright from natural sunlight and screams happiness. Just looking at the windows from outside I knew I was going to have fun just by looking at the dresses there. The store has two parts: one with street clothes and the other is the bridal shop where you can only go with an appointment.
They never take more than three brides at a time and while it's not a big room you never feel crowded, there are two sofas for the bride's crew, tasty decoration and the dresses are well organized on the walls.

My assistant, Kristen, quickly welcomed me and told me that I was allowed to try any dress I wanted. I could try every single dress in the shop if I wanted, it wouldn't be a problem. No dress limit like every other place I had been to. I explained again my budget limit, she was honest with me and told me most of their dresses were in the higher ends, as high as $7000. However they had some dresses under $500 and while I looked around she would bring them in the dressing room for me. She also told me that I was welcomed to try the expensive dresses too, as long as I made sure not to fall in love with the ones I knew I couldn't buy.
While she want looking for budget dresses my SIL Kalisa joined us, the fun could begin.

I knew right away the first one I wanted to try. I was out of budget, but there was no way I could resist it, it had caught my eye and my SMIL as well: a Suzanne Ermann dress.
While you technically can not take pictures in the shop, our sales assistant closed her eyes when I explained that my Mom was in France and that I wanted to share the experience with her. We didn't get all the dresses on camera though.
An other thing I loved with my sales assistant: Kristen came in the dressing room with me, and while some brides might feel uncomfortable with it, I was oh so happy to have someone helping me put every gown on.

I loved that dress. It was so much fun to be in it, I felt very unique and absolutely adored the bottom of the dress. I was not 100% in love with the top though and it was out of budget anyway. But oh so fun.

Dress: Suzanne Ermann

This one was very greek goddess like, but it had one slight problem: from the side I looked like I was pregnant. Err no thank you, not yet. I think it might be a Nicole Miller but I'm not certain.


Now I have to tell you the story of how I found The dress. You see, Kristen brought in a few dresses from the other side, but then she brought me to one of the small dressing rooms. There was a rack there with a bunch of sample sale dresses from the last season, every tag had punches marking the discount on the price. Kristen looked through and selected about 3 dresses within my price range and then told me to look myself in case she missed something. I looked and my eyes caught a piece of lace, I grabbed the tag and looked at it. It said 99.
-"99? As in 99 dollars?" I asked not believing it could be right.
-"Yes it is" she said smiling.
If only for the price I had to try it.

And so I did, along with other dresses: a silk mermaid gown, beautiful and I loved the fabric and the $99 price tag, but I felt that I couldn't move enough in it. A stunning dress that made me feel like Wendy's mother in Peter Pan: 1900's style, glamours, sleek and out of price, not to mentioned that it felt more like a cocktail dress than a bridal dress to me. There was a vintage style Claire Pettibone with tulle straps. All beautiful but not quite the one.
In the middle of all this was the One, my $99 dress. It had three pieces: the crinoline, the dress and the corset style top. It had a trumpet shape just like I wanted, it wasn't a diamond white color, just like I wanted, it had lace, a lace up back and I felt good in it. It also had much more train than I was planning for and it was strapless but for once I let go of my initial ideas because I just felt so good in it.
I couldn't help myself from playing with the lace. Indeed the lace is set up in funky ways, hanging down in some spot and covering a beautiful dupioni silk top. The skirt gives a floating effect and yet follows my curves in flattering ways.

I bought my dress there and then, along with a veil that was about as much as the dress itself. It needed a few alterations of course, and I could have had them done at the store, but it was a bit of a drive for me and I figured I could find something closer.

So here is the One ( I had to try it again at the end and didn't want to take it off). My SIL told me that the dress looked fun and creative just like me.




The original price tag was $3650, I bought a dress 97%off! The whole experience seemed like it was meant to be. The dress is by Linda Britten, an Australian designer.

I can only recommend Kelly's Closet to all Southern brides. If you are looking for something unique, great customer service and a fun experience this is the place.

Kelly's Closet
1649 McLendon Avenue NE
Atlanta, Georgia 30307
kellyscloset.net

Did you have an unusual experience finding your dress? Did any part of your planning made you feel like something was meant to be?

Unexpected consequences

It has been two years since I left my home country. Two years in which I've tried to keep in touch with not only my family, but also the few close friends I've known since high-school.
Last year, as we were about to get married at the courthouse I found out that my Senior High School friend M. had her relationship with D. going down the drain.
I wanted to be there for her, but the email she used back then was the one she shared with D. And I lost touch completely.
I considered contacting the Hospital were she works at a nurse to get in touch and my Mom even found out how to do that but the process was quite complicated. I have to admit that I got caught up with things and never got around to go through the Hospital administration to get a card to her.

But when came the time to send the wedding invitations, I still wanted her to know about it. So I used the French white pages. I assumed she was still living in the same city, and only one address came out with her name. So deciding that in the worst case someone would think I was a nutcase, I sent an invitation out, hoping it would be to her.
Several weeks later, I remembered to check the wedding website and I had a wonderful surprise. I had forgotten to remove the password. So I had a little note from my friend M. asking for it, and along was her email address.
Luck was on my side. It was the right person living at that address!
She might not be able to make it to the wedding, but who cares, we are back in touch again and that is all I could ask for.

Have you gotten back in touch with lost friends because of your wedding?

David's Bridal redeems itself (The Dress part 4)

If you read Part 3 of my dress search, you know that my experience at the David's Bridal in Asheville was far from good.
I had a good time at the small bridal boutique on Charlotte's St, but I didn't find The One there and I knew their dresses where not in my budget.
The only other bridal store in Asheville I knew about looked like they had beautiful dresses, and although I considered going there just for the fun of it, in the end I went against it for budget reasons.

So I was at the point of not knowing where to search next. I went online on pre-owned wedding dresses websites. I considered driving to Charlotte, NC; Greenville, SC and Atlanta, GA. All great places but without a bridal shop name it doesn't do much.
It's thanks to the blog of an other French expat' that I came across THE place: Kelly's Closet, which I will talk about later. I also wanted to go to La Reine, but they were closed the day of my visit. So I decided to go to Atlanta, we would spend Memorial Day week-end at my step-mother-in-law's place in the Georgia mountains and spend one day in Atlanta to do bridal shopping. My SMIL was very happy to join me and so was my SIL.
The day before we drove down, I talked with a friend and explain how bad of an experience I had had at the Asheville's David's Bridal. She was surprised. She had been to the one in Kenessaw for bridesmaid dresses and her sister's dress and did not regret it. I had a few doubts, but I decided to give them a last shot.

Before our road trip, I showed the previous shopping pictures to my SMIL so she would have an idea of what I looked good in and what I liked. I called David's Bridal 30mn before getting there to check if they had an opening and they did.
So we went it.
I was impressed at the size of the store: much bigger of course so close to Atlanta. But more than that, I was invited to look through the racks of dresses while I waited for my sales assistant instead of staying in the middle of the store. When the sales assistant came in she was so friendly, hugged us, quickly asked about my tastes and went on to the business of helping me find dresses. She listened to both my SMIL and I.
I tried 3 dresses in one hour compared to 4 dresses in 3 hours in Asheville. No comment.
She was there all along as I tried various dresses, said what she saw and was shocked when I told her about my previous experience. She even called several times since to check with me.
I think her name was Sheilah, and she definitely redeemed David's Bridal in my eyes.
I now know you can and should be picky with your sales assistant, and that there are great ones in chain stores too.

As far as the dresses, all the ones I tried were withing budget: $399-499 + a $50 discount if I bought it today.
The first one was dress T9395 A satin trumpet gown with beaded metallic lace, satin empire band with bow, and lace-up back. Chapel train.
While the train was definitely too long for my taste I absolutely loved the lace-up back. I tried it in Ivory with a Champagne ribbon.
Style VW9340, Beaded lace trumpet with godet inserts at skirt hem and charmeuse sash. Sweep train. I tried it before, but this time I got the right size.
Pretty, but it did not feel like the one either.

Styel EK9343, Floral print satin/chiffon burnout halter gown with beaded empire band. Sweep train.
I liked the halter and V neck look of it. But it wasn't the trumpet shaped I was looking for.
Although I let the sales assitant write down the styles of dresses I tried just in case, I couldn't decide which one I liked best. A sure sign that I had not found the right dress yet.
But I had a good time and it made a good introduction to our visit to Kelly's closet.

What experience did you have with bridal chain stores?

I wish I had guts (The Dress part 3)

I don't know what your personality is like but mine is the kind who doesn't speak up. It's not that I don't want to really. It's just that most of the time I simply don't know what to say when I'm in an uncomfortable situation. So rather than saying something right away I think about it, and by the time I have the perfect answer well, it's two days later and often too late. Not only that, but I try to be accommodation, too accommodating and when you are a bride this is not a good idea.
See the third time I went shopping for a dress, I brought my aunt-in-law and her granddaughter with me and things did not go as planned.

I had asked to have a new sales person, because the previous one was just not helping me. The manager was very accommodating and booked my appointment with an other lady. I had explained that the previous sales assistant had not been very helpful and that well she wasn't there for me. So I definitely had expectations with this new sales assistant.
When I smelled her cold ashtray breath I didn't get a good feel. I am a non smoker and while if other smoke or not is none of my business I expect a sales person to at least chew on a mint or something so I don't have to smell that. I'm sorry but ashtray breath does not ring quality service in my mind. I should have known right away, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
I wanted the granddaughter to have fun too. She is 11 and taller and bigger than me, I figured that at that age she would enjoy the fun of trying on dresses with the only goal of playing dress up and indeed she did.
That's the second time my opinion of the sales person went down. The way she commented on D's size was plainly and simply rude. So what if she is not a size 0 at 11 years old? She is there to try dresses. I had to ask her to go get a measuring tape to find out what dress size D needed.

When it came to my turn to try on dresses (because it seems we couldn't do both at the same time), things turned sour. I was simply left on my own with no idea where the sales person was. In the end my aunt-in-law told the store manager and that person came herself to help me, a little bit. It took three hours to try on three dresses, and the atmosphere and lack of help made me loose my smile and my interest in dresses. I simply didn't care anymore.

To top it all I had a conversation with my aunt-in-law about who were my bridesmaids. When I told her who they were, she turned to her granddaughter and said "Would you like to be one?".
What the heck? I was so shocked. I felt trapped too, she had not asked me but she had asked D, in front of me, without giving me a chance to discuss it. And because I was at the time hoping she would help me make a dress if I couldn't find one I like, I didn't have the guts to say no. Instead all I could say was: "Yes D, would you like to be one of my bridesmaid?"
I could have slapped myself.
While I later on figured out she could be a Jr Bridesmaid which would be much more appropriate to her age, I still felt like I had been forced upon a choice that was not my own.

So I wish I had some guts yes. I wish I had told the sales person that I expected her to be there for me and help me, here my questions and be there when I needed an other dress. Trust me I did not act like a bradzilla and I know I deserved better.
I wish on the way out that I had told the manager of the store that I'm very sorry but given the lack of customer service they provided they could be sure I would not buy my dress there, and that she should get her sales person to wash their teeth after smoking.
And finally I wish I had told my aunt-in-law: "No! No, I'm sorry but I have three bridesmaids and that's plenty enough. No offense but I'll find something else for Dorian to do if she wants to be involved in the wedding."

Oh and because it was dress shopping non the less here are some pictures (all dresses David's Bridal):

I loved the lace and the light feel of the dress, it was the wrong size however

The halter, trumpet lace dress that I thought was the one.

An A-line champagne dress I didn't like but tried to please the aunt-in-law

Me and Dorian (my unplanned Jr Bridesmaid)

Trying on a veil

Do you have the guts to stand up and give your opinion? Or are you like me and do you get in complicated situations just because you can't say no?

E-share the news

With the family scattered all around the globe and my heavy usage of Internet, it was obvious to me that we should have a wedding website.
I wanted it to be a fun informative tool where our guests could find information that would not fit in the invitation unless we made it a book.

Now all that is great but you have to find the support for it. Although not an Internet professional I do have a little bit of html knowledge (I learned a lot with http://www.lissaexplains.com/) and I know how to create a webpage from scratch. But my skills were definitely too low when it came to creating a full website where every page would have the same background, with an index to the side and pretty pictures everywhere.
I considered using a site like freewebs to create my page but quickly dropped the idea for the reasons mentioned above.

So I started searching pre-made wedding websites were I could host our informations.
I had several criterias in mind:
1)A free website. With our tiny budget I wanted to avoid that kind of expense.
2)A website with flexibility where I could put the information I wanted to share with our guests and even better: pages that I would translate in French.
3)A pretty background. I couldn't see myself with a background that would scream :"Chessy" at me.

Armed with my searching page I typed in "free wedding website".
The first one I came across was:

http://www.ewedding.com/
Their websites have a cute intro and you can create a lot of different pages with various information.
It also has unlimited photos, events, rsvp, etc. You can create files to download and it has a lot of very fun features.
Except that, when you look into their packages option, the Free Website really does not offer much and you have to pay to be able to use all those features.

http://www.ourweddingday.com/
Only offers it free for the 30 day trial.
It is however free for David's Bridal customers.
The main thing was: I couldn't see the features or the background without registering. Wanting to avoid Spam and not sure if just trying David's Bridal dresses was enough to be considered a customer, I decided to skip.

http://www.weddingannouncer.com/
I think I actually started a site there, but gave up because I didn't really like the background and I couldn't have all the information I wanted on the website. It has some cute choices and the basic information you might want to share though

http://www.weddingchannel.com/
A bit like ewedding, they temp you with a free version but you can only put so much in it and should pay to share all you want.
The plus part is that they make a donation to the charity of your choice if you post the registry there.

There were many more but in the end it was under the advice of a friend that I choose to use
http://www.mywedding.com/
Without signing up I was able to look at their various themes and I could even change it's color a bit. They have a wide variety of templates that can fit just about any theme or season.
They are entirely free and not only do they have all the pages I needed but I could customize some of them.
It's very user friendly too, so even without html knowledge you can create a beautiful site.

Do you have a wedding website? Which one are you using and why?

Unplanned dress shopping (The dress part 2)

My second dress shopping experience was completely unplanned.
My car was under repair and my husband dropped me north of downtown were I had an interview. I had been planning to take the bus home, not realizing that here on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, public transportation was not functioning. It was a cold day, I was all bundled up, and while I walked downtown to catch a bus (I still though there was one) I went by this very cute boutique that I had always wanted to go in:

Wedding Inspirations
Just the look of the boutique had always made me want to go in it.
But when I face the door I found out that they were not open on Mondays. I was ready to turn around when a sales person came and opened the door just for me. She had an appointment coming up that morning but offered to take some time with me.
I couldn't believe my luck.

She quickly asked for some information about me and our wedding and then explained how things worked. She pointed at the rack sales spot, showed me around the other rooms and then gave me several red ribbons that I was to attach to the dresses I liked.
What a difference from David's Bridal where I had to select gowns from a catalogue. This time I could feel the fabrics, feel the weight, look at the details and the shades.

The atmosphere was warm and cozy, I didn't feel pressured by the sales person and I took my time to look around and select gowns that caught my eyes. I was then escorted to the dressing room (a former bathroom) that made me feel in a boudoir. She then brought me a few dresses at a time.

Because I was on my own and didn't have my camera, I never took any pictures and I didn't think to write down the names of the dresses I liked either.
I had been looking for halter top, ivory color and trumpet shaped dresses. I didn't want really want an A line dress that seemed to puffy to me. There were few. So my selection included anything with straps.
No underskirt or bustier to struggle with made my experience much more pleasant.

I really like the second dress I tried. It was a Jasmine Couture gown made with silk. I mention to the salesperson that I like natural material, she says she is not surprised because all the dress I selected are like that.
I feel pretty in that dress, the trumpet shape is definitely flattering, the décolleté looks good and the natural silk color and texture looks great against my skin.
But when I look at the price back inside the dressing room, I read $1080 on the tag. Oh dear, natural fabrics means luxury tastes!

I try an other dress with an interesting structure but it's obvious that the color does not work with my complexion. The sales person uses the opportunity to tell me that I have a skin with blue undertones and that I should therefore avoid fabrics with too much yellow in it as well as diamond white that would wash me out.
So off white and ivories are my colors. Good that was what I had in mind anyway.

I also tried this Alfred Sung style 6631 wit organza and sateen ribbons, it's an A line but I do like it.
Nothing more catches my eyes after that so I headed downtown after thanking the salesperson and promising to come back with friends next time to get their opinion.

That's when I find out that there are no bus. I will have to walk miles to get back home. Not so exciting when it's close to noon on a cold January day.
On my way I stop by David's bridal with the simple goal of picking up their new collection brochure. It's close to 2pm and I wasn't really in the mood to try things on, but the sales person there insist that I should.
I get the same sales assistant as the last time. I don't like her. She makes me follow her, has me sit down on a chair and then leaves me to wait. I start chatting with a mother of the bride, a wonderful mom who will end up helping me out more than the sales person throughout the experience.

I spotted a new dress in the brochure that I wanted to try. It's far from what I had imagined so far: covered with lace when I was thinking of a simple gown.
The dress as select is Style: T9512, it's an all over lace, trumpet shape with an illusion halter top and a ribbon with the color of your choice in the middle. I love it, the shape falls so well on me. I want to try it with a coper colored belt but of course the closest they have is chocolate. I like it but the near-by mother of the bride tells me it makes it look more casual. The only thing is: it's way too long and it does not exist in a petite size, not to mention the $800 price tag.

The sales person believe then that she knows what I want and brings me an other dress. It simply looks awful on me. The sales assistant obviously does not understand what I am looking for nor what works with my figure.
I do try one last dress though, the one that my neighbor had been trying: Style: CV226, it's pretty too with it's empire waist and beaded lace sheath.
I like it too although not quite as much as the first one, and again it's close to $1000. But with little energy left I have to put a halt to my dress shopping and head home.

But the visit was not fruitless, it did help me again to define what I was looking for, and the T9512 made me realize that I do love lace and that maybe it's part of what I would like for my wedding dress.

Did you ever go shop on your own? Do you think it made it easier or harder to select gown without a close friend's opinion?