How to wear it?

When we got married at the courthouse I had my godsister do my hair. She created many loose curls in it and I just clipped my Hawaiian Plumeria flower on the left side as it means you are taken. It was a way for me to honor his mom.

I like it, it was simple and worked great with our civil, unplanned wedding and having no veil.
So that made me think, why not work it out the same way for the wedding and have the girls do my hair? It seems like a good idea and helps to stay within budget.

I still can't decide what hairstyle I want for our family wedding. The strapless gown calls for an updo that would beautify the cut.
The season calls for something that covers the shoulders a bit.
My personal taste tells me I don't want my hair in my face.

If the loose curls worked well for our wedding I did have some issues with it though. The first being that my hair is so thin and straight that it does not hold any haircut unless you put a gazzillion pins in it, by the evening most of the curls were gone. The second part was that I had hair in my face.

Now I've veen looking around at possible options. I do not want something too formal. Some loose hair here and there would have my preference, and because of the veil and the "no hair in the face" I need it attached somewhere.
So here are some of the styles I liked on theknot.com, the only part is: if I go for any of those styles: I'll need a hairdresser.
My hair is now below my shoulders, almost at armpit level.

The half up-do:
The few curls make it romantic, it's loose enough not to look strict. We could probably pull off this one on our own.

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=24420

An other half up-do
Again very loose so that it doesn't look too formal.

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=13626

Curlz
This is the one I probably dreamed about as soon as I started thinking of weddings. Those curls are just gorgeous, feminine, defined and yet a bit loose. I love the few strands of hair going down too.
But how long would it take to do this? And would it hold?

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=14038

The informal updo
It has a touch of simplicity to it, and yet it's sophisticated and beautiful. I do not have a brooch to put in my hair though. The bride described her hair to be just like mine so it's duable.

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=20023

Original bun:
I love the way the hair is attached in the back. It's very unique and can probably handle not to have flowers at all. I would definitely need a hairdresser to make sure it holds throughout the day. It fits our outdoor wedding too.

http://weddings.theknot.com/ODB/themes/realweddings/View.aspx?type=1&id=20805


How are you going to wear your hair. Did you choose the style for it's look or for the practicality?

I'll have it cutstom, please (part 2)

I left you at the moment when I opened the door of Blue. It was a Saturday morning and the store was calm. I could here some sounds upstairs but no one came to greet me, so I silently moved aroudn and used the opportunity to look around without being questioned by the sales assistant.
After a few minutes, someone came down. He presented himself as the assistant of the jewlers and took time to show me what they had and answered most of my questions.
I tried a few beautiful rings, some thin, some larger.

Here is a sample of their work, all copyright to Blue.

As you can see there is definitely creativity involved.

At that point I knew I wanted texture, so I was attracted by the brushed rings, the hammered silver bands and the engraved ones. The assistant told me that it could be difficult to do a thin hammered ring, so I took that option out of my mind. It didn't matter because my eyes go caught on this:
A diamond engraved band. I didn't want a diamond though, but thankfully the assistant had a few simple band with the hand engraving to show me. I tried it and well loved it. I liked the yellow tones of gold and the contrast it made with my ring. However my husband's opinion was also important, and this ring was twice what I was thinking to put in my wedding band given our budget so I decided to come back with him.

The second visit was a fiasco. We were on our way out of town, I was expecting a wedding shoes delivery from UPS and stalking my phone to hear from them and knowing I was stressed, my husband didn't say a word when all I wanted was to hear his opinion. All he said was that white gold matched my engagement ring better.
But after I calmed down we talked in the car and though more about our options. I did still want a mix of golds so when he came up with the idea on his own I couldn't help myself from dreaming about a 3 level ring, with an engraved center.
We came back the next week and takled with the actual jewler.
It was quickly obvious that my idea was not feasable for them.
The engraving would dissapear when they would "melt/attach" the 3 sections together, not to mention that that technique is super expensive.

I was ready to just settle for my pretty engraved ring in white gold, but I played with the rings on my fingers a little more and we decided that a white gold and an engraved yellow gold ring looked pretty together as the yellow gold was framed between the e-ring and the other one. I loved it. There was the option to get the middle one engraved and instead of getting them together like one ring, the jewler could do a two point attach in the back. There would still be a little space in between but they wouldn't move. Since the e-ring would be separated from the rest anyway I wasn't bothered.

However, again the budget price put a halt on things: it would be a thousand dollar. Ouch! But I loved that idea so much.
So what we decided was to get the engraved ring now as a wedding band and that later on we would add a white gold band and attach it. That girl loves the idea. The hubby said "Thanks!" pretending to be trapped in a "buy me later gift".

I decided on the green gold verstion (it has more silver and zinc than copper added to the gold), it looks more like the medieval gold and I love it. What I love too is that this is all recycled gold and my little eco-friendly mind sure is happy with it.

Here is what it looked like with a way too big for my hands ring:

On the way to the car I told Hubby: "We could have this second ring for a special occasion, like having kids.." I paused and then said "Do you want to have kids now?" Yeah, I'm a girl and I can't wait to have my rign.

How was your wedding ring shopping process? Did you already plan to have an anniversary ring?

I'll have it custom, please (Part 1)

I didn't have much of a saying in the choice of the engagement ring. I remember once talking with him about it, way before we seriously thought about getting married. At the time it was my opinion that it should be a diamond ring. Time went by and I became more open to other options, I think I would have loved a ruby or a sapphire ring. Ruby is my birthstone and I just love sapphires.
But when he went down on one knee, it was with a white gold, princess cut diamond ring and I couldn't have cared less what it was made of, I loved it for what it meant.

We decided not to exchange rings for our civil ceremony. We wanted to keep some of the meaningful moments of a wedding to share with our families on our big family wedding day. So I didn't even bother thinking about what I wanted until a few months ago.

At first I though about a simple gold band just like my parents and my grandparents had (source):

And yes I wanted yellow gold because I like the contrast between white and yellow, also to me it represents two different people uniting their lives to each other.
The simple gold band was also great for our small budget wedding. But of course I couldn't settle on it.

The more I thought about it, the less I felt satisfied with the plain band. Yes I could not find something else. Most chain jewelery only have either plain bands or diamond bands, nothing in between.
I knew I wanted gold, but I also realized that I wanted texture like a mix of brushed and shiny gold. They did not have that.
So I went and searched online.
There was one ring I kind of liked: a 14k Two tones ring, 3.5mm wide. It was a little bit over $200 and came from www.weddingbands.com Link.

But I still was not entirely satisfied. So I went around town to check out jewlers who make their own rings.
First I went to Jewels That Dance, it looked quite posh. The sales person even asked me if I was here on vacation and I was like "No, I'm local". It made me feel like it was there only for tourists and that they didn't feel like the local people could afford their work. Indeed I could not. But the attitude really threw me off. And while there were a few pretty rings, there wasn't anything I really wanted to try either.

The only other place in Asheville that I knew to make custom jewelry was Blue, in Biltmore village. Many times I came by their door but was too late to get a sneak pick of their work. Finally, one saturday while my hubby was at work, I pushed the door open.

...to be continued

Have fun with the Rules at Kelly's Closet

Hubby, no peaking! If you're smart you won't look down and spoil the surprise!

Moving in to the US to be with my husband has motivated me to blog, at first to keep my family in the loop and then just to share my experience as an expat with others. Therefore I started searching other French expat's blog in the US. It's thanks to that, that I found out about Kelly's closet. A fellow expat (Froggie) found her dress there and recommended the store.
So I went online and looked it up.
I fell in love with their way of thinking. Want to know why? Well read the rules posted on the website:

Source

Play dress up? That's exactly what I've been wanting to do. Be positive about yourself, don't say you're fat? How come those rules are not posted in every woman store already? It's just a dress and the partner is more important? Agreed.
This all philosophy that is advertised for from the start made me smile and feel so excited about going to the store. I didn't know if I would find my dress there but I knew that I wanted to.
My fellow expat had found a dress for $500 and told me that while they do have expensive things they also have options for smaller budget and that you are not looked upon for not buying the pricey items.

Just in case though, when I called to make the appointment, I mentionned the price range I was looking for. The woman on the phone told me it would not be a problem that they had items in that price range.
Already in good spirits from a better shopping experience at David's Bridal I was so excited to go to Kelly's Closet. It's located in Little Five Points in Atlanta and the area could not be cuter and more fitted to the store.
The windows and doors are painted a light yellow, the store is bright from natural sunlight and screams happiness. Just looking at the windows from outside I knew I was going to have fun just by looking at the dresses there. The store has two parts: one with street clothes and the other is the bridal shop where you can only go with an appointment.
They never take more than three brides at a time and while it's not a big room you never feel crowded, there are two sofas for the bride's crew, tasty decoration and the dresses are well organized on the walls.

My assistant, Kristen, quickly welcomed me and told me that I was allowed to try any dress I wanted. I could try every single dress in the shop if I wanted, it wouldn't be a problem. No dress limit like every other place I had been to. I explained again my budget limit, she was honest with me and told me most of their dresses were in the higher ends, as high as $7000. However they had some dresses under $500 and while I looked around she would bring them in the dressing room for me. She also told me that I was welcomed to try the expensive dresses too, as long as I made sure not to fall in love with the ones I knew I couldn't buy.
While she want looking for budget dresses my SIL Kalisa joined us, the fun could begin.

I knew right away the first one I wanted to try. I was out of budget, but there was no way I could resist it, it had caught my eye and my SMIL as well: a Suzanne Ermann dress.
While you technically can not take pictures in the shop, our sales assistant closed her eyes when I explained that my Mom was in France and that I wanted to share the experience with her. We didn't get all the dresses on camera though.
An other thing I loved with my sales assistant: Kristen came in the dressing room with me, and while some brides might feel uncomfortable with it, I was oh so happy to have someone helping me put every gown on.

I loved that dress. It was so much fun to be in it, I felt very unique and absolutely adored the bottom of the dress. I was not 100% in love with the top though and it was out of budget anyway. But oh so fun.

Dress: Suzanne Ermann

This one was very greek goddess like, but it had one slight problem: from the side I looked like I was pregnant. Err no thank you, not yet. I think it might be a Nicole Miller but I'm not certain.


Now I have to tell you the story of how I found The dress. You see, Kristen brought in a few dresses from the other side, but then she brought me to one of the small dressing rooms. There was a rack there with a bunch of sample sale dresses from the last season, every tag had punches marking the discount on the price. Kristen looked through and selected about 3 dresses within my price range and then told me to look myself in case she missed something. I looked and my eyes caught a piece of lace, I grabbed the tag and looked at it. It said 99.
-"99? As in 99 dollars?" I asked not believing it could be right.
-"Yes it is" she said smiling.
If only for the price I had to try it.

And so I did, along with other dresses: a silk mermaid gown, beautiful and I loved the fabric and the $99 price tag, but I felt that I couldn't move enough in it. A stunning dress that made me feel like Wendy's mother in Peter Pan: 1900's style, glamours, sleek and out of price, not to mentioned that it felt more like a cocktail dress than a bridal dress to me. There was a vintage style Claire Pettibone with tulle straps. All beautiful but not quite the one.
In the middle of all this was the One, my $99 dress. It had three pieces: the crinoline, the dress and the corset style top. It had a trumpet shape just like I wanted, it wasn't a diamond white color, just like I wanted, it had lace, a lace up back and I felt good in it. It also had much more train than I was planning for and it was strapless but for once I let go of my initial ideas because I just felt so good in it.
I couldn't help myself from playing with the lace. Indeed the lace is set up in funky ways, hanging down in some spot and covering a beautiful dupioni silk top. The skirt gives a floating effect and yet follows my curves in flattering ways.

I bought my dress there and then, along with a veil that was about as much as the dress itself. It needed a few alterations of course, and I could have had them done at the store, but it was a bit of a drive for me and I figured I could find something closer.

So here is the One ( I had to try it again at the end and didn't want to take it off). My SIL told me that the dress looked fun and creative just like me.




The original price tag was $3650, I bought a dress 97%off! The whole experience seemed like it was meant to be. The dress is by Linda Britten, an Australian designer.

I can only recommend Kelly's Closet to all Southern brides. If you are looking for something unique, great customer service and a fun experience this is the place.

Kelly's Closet
1649 McLendon Avenue NE
Atlanta, Georgia 30307
kellyscloset.net

Did you have an unusual experience finding your dress? Did any part of your planning made you feel like something was meant to be?

Unexpected consequences

It has been two years since I left my home country. Two years in which I've tried to keep in touch with not only my family, but also the few close friends I've known since high-school.
Last year, as we were about to get married at the courthouse I found out that my Senior High School friend M. had her relationship with D. going down the drain.
I wanted to be there for her, but the email she used back then was the one she shared with D. And I lost touch completely.
I considered contacting the Hospital were she works at a nurse to get in touch and my Mom even found out how to do that but the process was quite complicated. I have to admit that I got caught up with things and never got around to go through the Hospital administration to get a card to her.

But when came the time to send the wedding invitations, I still wanted her to know about it. So I used the French white pages. I assumed she was still living in the same city, and only one address came out with her name. So deciding that in the worst case someone would think I was a nutcase, I sent an invitation out, hoping it would be to her.
Several weeks later, I remembered to check the wedding website and I had a wonderful surprise. I had forgotten to remove the password. So I had a little note from my friend M. asking for it, and along was her email address.
Luck was on my side. It was the right person living at that address!
She might not be able to make it to the wedding, but who cares, we are back in touch again and that is all I could ask for.

Have you gotten back in touch with lost friends because of your wedding?

David's Bridal redeems itself (The Dress part 4)

If you read Part 3 of my dress search, you know that my experience at the David's Bridal in Asheville was far from good.
I had a good time at the small bridal boutique on Charlotte's St, but I didn't find The One there and I knew their dresses where not in my budget.
The only other bridal store in Asheville I knew about looked like they had beautiful dresses, and although I considered going there just for the fun of it, in the end I went against it for budget reasons.

So I was at the point of not knowing where to search next. I went online on pre-owned wedding dresses websites. I considered driving to Charlotte, NC; Greenville, SC and Atlanta, GA. All great places but without a bridal shop name it doesn't do much.
It's thanks to the blog of an other French expat' that I came across THE place: Kelly's Closet, which I will talk about later. I also wanted to go to La Reine, but they were closed the day of my visit. So I decided to go to Atlanta, we would spend Memorial Day week-end at my step-mother-in-law's place in the Georgia mountains and spend one day in Atlanta to do bridal shopping. My SMIL was very happy to join me and so was my SIL.
The day before we drove down, I talked with a friend and explain how bad of an experience I had had at the Asheville's David's Bridal. She was surprised. She had been to the one in Kenessaw for bridesmaid dresses and her sister's dress and did not regret it. I had a few doubts, but I decided to give them a last shot.

Before our road trip, I showed the previous shopping pictures to my SMIL so she would have an idea of what I looked good in and what I liked. I called David's Bridal 30mn before getting there to check if they had an opening and they did.
So we went it.
I was impressed at the size of the store: much bigger of course so close to Atlanta. But more than that, I was invited to look through the racks of dresses while I waited for my sales assistant instead of staying in the middle of the store. When the sales assistant came in she was so friendly, hugged us, quickly asked about my tastes and went on to the business of helping me find dresses. She listened to both my SMIL and I.
I tried 3 dresses in one hour compared to 4 dresses in 3 hours in Asheville. No comment.
She was there all along as I tried various dresses, said what she saw and was shocked when I told her about my previous experience. She even called several times since to check with me.
I think her name was Sheilah, and she definitely redeemed David's Bridal in my eyes.
I now know you can and should be picky with your sales assistant, and that there are great ones in chain stores too.

As far as the dresses, all the ones I tried were withing budget: $399-499 + a $50 discount if I bought it today.
The first one was dress T9395 A satin trumpet gown with beaded metallic lace, satin empire band with bow, and lace-up back. Chapel train.
While the train was definitely too long for my taste I absolutely loved the lace-up back. I tried it in Ivory with a Champagne ribbon.
Style VW9340, Beaded lace trumpet with godet inserts at skirt hem and charmeuse sash. Sweep train. I tried it before, but this time I got the right size.
Pretty, but it did not feel like the one either.

Styel EK9343, Floral print satin/chiffon burnout halter gown with beaded empire band. Sweep train.
I liked the halter and V neck look of it. But it wasn't the trumpet shaped I was looking for.
Although I let the sales assitant write down the styles of dresses I tried just in case, I couldn't decide which one I liked best. A sure sign that I had not found the right dress yet.
But I had a good time and it made a good introduction to our visit to Kelly's closet.

What experience did you have with bridal chain stores?

I wish I had guts (The Dress part 3)

I don't know what your personality is like but mine is the kind who doesn't speak up. It's not that I don't want to really. It's just that most of the time I simply don't know what to say when I'm in an uncomfortable situation. So rather than saying something right away I think about it, and by the time I have the perfect answer well, it's two days later and often too late. Not only that, but I try to be accommodation, too accommodating and when you are a bride this is not a good idea.
See the third time I went shopping for a dress, I brought my aunt-in-law and her granddaughter with me and things did not go as planned.

I had asked to have a new sales person, because the previous one was just not helping me. The manager was very accommodating and booked my appointment with an other lady. I had explained that the previous sales assistant had not been very helpful and that well she wasn't there for me. So I definitely had expectations with this new sales assistant.
When I smelled her cold ashtray breath I didn't get a good feel. I am a non smoker and while if other smoke or not is none of my business I expect a sales person to at least chew on a mint or something so I don't have to smell that. I'm sorry but ashtray breath does not ring quality service in my mind. I should have known right away, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
I wanted the granddaughter to have fun too. She is 11 and taller and bigger than me, I figured that at that age she would enjoy the fun of trying on dresses with the only goal of playing dress up and indeed she did.
That's the second time my opinion of the sales person went down. The way she commented on D's size was plainly and simply rude. So what if she is not a size 0 at 11 years old? She is there to try dresses. I had to ask her to go get a measuring tape to find out what dress size D needed.

When it came to my turn to try on dresses (because it seems we couldn't do both at the same time), things turned sour. I was simply left on my own with no idea where the sales person was. In the end my aunt-in-law told the store manager and that person came herself to help me, a little bit. It took three hours to try on three dresses, and the atmosphere and lack of help made me loose my smile and my interest in dresses. I simply didn't care anymore.

To top it all I had a conversation with my aunt-in-law about who were my bridesmaids. When I told her who they were, she turned to her granddaughter and said "Would you like to be one?".
What the heck? I was so shocked. I felt trapped too, she had not asked me but she had asked D, in front of me, without giving me a chance to discuss it. And because I was at the time hoping she would help me make a dress if I couldn't find one I like, I didn't have the guts to say no. Instead all I could say was: "Yes D, would you like to be one of my bridesmaid?"
I could have slapped myself.
While I later on figured out she could be a Jr Bridesmaid which would be much more appropriate to her age, I still felt like I had been forced upon a choice that was not my own.

So I wish I had some guts yes. I wish I had told the sales person that I expected her to be there for me and help me, here my questions and be there when I needed an other dress. Trust me I did not act like a bradzilla and I know I deserved better.
I wish on the way out that I had told the manager of the store that I'm very sorry but given the lack of customer service they provided they could be sure I would not buy my dress there, and that she should get her sales person to wash their teeth after smoking.
And finally I wish I had told my aunt-in-law: "No! No, I'm sorry but I have three bridesmaids and that's plenty enough. No offense but I'll find something else for Dorian to do if she wants to be involved in the wedding."

Oh and because it was dress shopping non the less here are some pictures (all dresses David's Bridal):

I loved the lace and the light feel of the dress, it was the wrong size however

The halter, trumpet lace dress that I thought was the one.

An A-line champagne dress I didn't like but tried to please the aunt-in-law

Me and Dorian (my unplanned Jr Bridesmaid)

Trying on a veil

Do you have the guts to stand up and give your opinion? Or are you like me and do you get in complicated situations just because you can't say no?